My Nightmare!

I had a nightmare early this morning.
I dreamt that I had gotten very late at office. When I left office, I could not get any cab to get back home. After a long search I decided to walk back home. The roads were deserted and not a soul was to be seen.
And then as I was walking, I looked up and I was shocked to see fighter jets flying in a V formation - they were at least 20 of them and at quite a high altitude. Two jets were trying to engage them in a dogfight.
We were being attacked!
I was scared. There was not a single car, bus or bike on the Western Express Highway. It was dark and scary. But I had to get back home, fast.
The dogfights were going on in the air. The sounds of the fighters made the silence on the ground even more eerie.
After a long walk, I touched New Link Road. Dawn was breaking. The eerie silence was all pervasive.
Then I saw a long queue. Citizens were lining up to register for emergency evacuation.
Chills ran down my spine. That's when I woke up.
This is not an unreal scenario. With the kind of neighbours we have, we can face this scenario, though I hope we don't.
But we have to be prepared, prepared to fight back with arms, tactics and strategies. And we need to fully, unconditionally support the Indian armed forces to ensure that such nightmares don't come true, ever and forever.

The Bandh Day

It's a bandh day today.
When I woke up at 7 in the morning today, I grabbed my Blackberry.
Through my half-closed eyelids, I saw a mail from a colleague advising caution - venturing out was supposedly not advisable.
Was it so bad, I thought. I walked down to the window and saw the New Link Road absolutely empty - no cars, taxis, auto or BEST buses, which is very odd. The streets looked as though some cataclysmic event had struck my city. That reminded me of the two days after 26/11.
Now I too was a bit apprehensive about venturing out.
But at the same time, I was happy at the prospect of grabbing a few extra winks, I dozed off again for two hours.
True, the fuel price hike is a major issue. But so is inflation that has persistently dogged our economy for the last 2 years.
If I feel the pinch of my grocery bills doubling in the last 2 years, people below the poverty line must be having a harrowing time.
Which political party has really taken up the cause of food inflation? No one really. The BJP and the Left really did not give it the attention that it deserved and the government got scot free.
But I wonder what purpose does a bandh serve?
I wonder what a taxi driver, who is on the fringes of the poverty line, would gain from a bandh? Will it solve his problem of inflation? No. Instead he is deprived of potential earnings.
I wonder if the sponsors of the bandh ever gave this a thought.
It's absolutely senseless shutting down a megapolis like Bombay. Bringing the economy to a grinding halt for a day would solve all the ills, I wonder?
Sad, but it's true, the propaganda by all our politicians is bullshit. The bandh would just give them a few minutes in the limelight, keeping their hopes alive for the next election.
But there are things for which bandh has no effect. As Neeti's status message said today, "Thank God, the rains are not on strike!!!"

Bombaypolis Moments.... Part 2

Bombaypolis Moments back now with the second series 0f mobile grabs......

MMRDA wants you to drive safely along the Western Express Highway, but who thinks of repairing the potholes that are as wide as cars, that can be fatal?
A sample flat from a reputed builder looks so attractive. Even if one manages to buy one of such over-priced properties, one is always left with a thought - "Will I get what I am promised?"





A dozing security guard in a residential building. Does that inspire any confidence?

We may be largest English speaking nation in the world, but surely, we need a crash course in English!!!!

A homely, sleepy and green lane in Bandra, off Linking Road. Reminds me of good ol' South Delhi

Bombay is amazing in the rain, especially, if you get to drive from Haji Ali to Worli....

And not to forget, a late night drive along the Queen's Necklace....

This brightly lit advertisement looked amazing against the backdrop of the night skyline, along Lokhandwala's New Link Road.

Can you beat that?

Though I haven't done many of these goof-ups in the past, they do happen. And while they do have a very high potential to cause a major embarrassment, they can also be quite interesting, leading to some comical solutions.

A similar situation occurred yesterday. Neeti and I were scheduled to attend a party in the evening. Being an exceptionally warm and humid day, we had to take a couple of showers through the day to stay cool!

And so, before we left home, we took our showers, decked ourselves up nattily, thought we were smelling good, looking smart, etc. etc.!

True to the conditions set forth for me, I had to drive. Moved out of home, and got on the New Link Road - surprisingly, there was little traffic for a Sunday evening. And in o time we reached the JP Road crossing - the signal was red and we stopped. And then came the shocker - I looked at myself in the rear view mirror and realised what a fool I was! I forgot to SHAVE!!!!!! I felt like such a fool!

Knowing what was around the corner, I very carefully modulated my voice, tried not looking into Neeti's eyes and said "Neeti, I forgot to shave!"

The reaction was cool and measured - perhaps she had given up on me, trying to persuade to shave on the weekends. The argument I used to counter her in such situations was that Abhishek Bachchan doesn't seem to shave, does Aishwarya seem to complain? No! So you could very well accept. After all, you are a big fan of his!

Grudgingly, Neeti said "Forget it, let's continue anyways!"

Afraid to embarrass her, I said I would shave anyway. She suggested we turn back. Now that would have meant getting an hour late, which was not ideal.

Eureka, a brilliant idea struck me like a bolt through the blue. I told Neeti, that would love me for the rest of my life for this damn thing that I was going to do.

Accelerated towards DN Nagar and pulled over by the grocery stores, opposite the DN Nagar police station. And then I made a dash towards the closest grocery store - picked up a Gillette Presto and a small bottle of Aquafina.

Rushed back to the car, moistened my face with, yes, Aquafina, and quickly wrapped up the act, in the dimming light. And you can't imagine the glances I got from passers-by - kids were giggling, boys laughing, girls looking at me with disdain and Aunties looking at me suspiciously as if were going for a clandestine rendezvous with girl beside me in the car!!!! Arrrgh!

But it ended up being my finest shave.

And the Lady was impressed - can you beat that?