India's new neighbour - Talibanistan

As we thought we had enough shocks for 2009, another one strikes, though not quite out of the blue.

The Doomsday Scenario is playing out - today, Amritsar is geographically closer to the Taliban than Delhi. Yes, its true, the Taliban are inching closer to the Indian frontier, by taking control of Pakistani territory, inch by inch. And sooner than we expect, we would have to deal with the Taliban. And soon, we will have a new neighbour to deal with, to add to our list of painful neighbours - Talibanistan!

Our options are limited as a country. We are being pushed into a corner - the way Israel has existed for the last 60-odd years.

What do we do? Talk to the Pakistanis? Will it help? No, not at all. When Zardari said he expects Taliban to take control of the country any time soon, it is evident, he controls nothing but his presidential palace. There is no point in talking to him.

What about the Americans? Obama has spoken about eliminating Al-Qaeda, focusing on Af-Pak, etc. etc. But given the economic situation prevailing in the US, it might be tempting for Obama to cut spends by moving forces out of Af-Pak. We can't bank on the US to be on our side, given the poor economics of their presence in Af-Pak.

Our options are limited - we have to deal with this menace ourselves. After taking over Pakistan, the Taliban will turn their eyes on India for sure. And that's real bad. That really would the first real threat that India would face since its independence for the Taliban threatens the Indian way of life, our free speech, our economic independence. And we can't let it happen.

We need to boost our defences all along the Western borders - that is obvious. But more importantly, we have to break the enemy from within. For that, our intelligence has to break in to the Taliban to understand their plans better. Then we would need to deflect their attention from our borders. We should attempt to build resistance within Pakistan against the Taliban. The Baluchis and the Sindhis are certainly are not pleased with the Punjabi-Pashtun nexus and are likely to play ball against the Taliban.

All along I had my reservations on the way successive governments in Delhi had handled Pakistan. But Manmohan Singh's A-team of Chidambaram and Pranab has proven that they have the will not only to talk tough but also act. I hope they have the threat that Talibanistan poses to India in their minds and they act on it.

Saluting the Punjabi spirit...

About three weeks, while channel surfing, I chanced upon the movie "Pinjar" showing on World Movies. The movie Pinjar is about the ordeal of a young Punjabi girl, Puro (Urmila Matondkar), in pre-partition Punjab. And I bet I have never seen a movie that has haunted me, touched me and affected me as much as this one.

Despite being a movie that unsettles the audience, it is a must watch for all those who want to know the ordeals the Punjabis went through during the partition era.

When I spoke to my parents about the movie, they also told me tales about the partition that they had heard as kids and the problems their families faced after they migrated to India. Neeti told me similar stories from her side of the family. And it's not just our families that have stories to tell - almost every Punjabi family has some or the other painful story on the partition.

It is even hard to imagine the hell Punjabis went through in 1947. And after decades of patience, hard work and a never say die attitude, they came out of it as winners. Who could have imagined that the relatively infertile part of Punjab would be turned into India's wheat and bread basket? Or the belt from Amritsar to Delhi would be turned into a belt of unparalleled prosperity?

Our grandparents came here to independent India after losing everything in Pakistan with nothing more to lose but with a will to survive and succeed. And that will prevailed.

So coming to the Punjabi attitude that made it happen - of working hard, playing hard and of living life kingsize. This attitude has been unmatched in the rest of India - the rest of India which was unaffected by miseries of partition.

Often we get to hear of malicious comments on the ostentatious nature of Delhiites (read Punjus), but have we ever got to the bottom of what makes the Punjus of today what they are? Have we ever heard any Punju say that they don't accept any outsider in Punjabi majority areas of the North? Never till date, and never in the future - I can bet my reputation on that. Despite being proud as a community, the Punjabis have always seen themselves as Indians first - look at the contribution of the Punjabi community to the Indian armed forces.

My hypothesis is that all Indians secretly admire the attitude of the Punjus and aspire to be like them. The proof of this lies in Bollywood - almost 90% of all Bollywood movies show a Punju background, bringing out all the giggles from the audiences. Why? Because it sells. Why do these movies sell? Because Indians aspire to have an attitude like the Punjus.... Admit it or not!

But as they say 90% of the iceberg is below the water, this ostentatious Punju attitude is only on the surface. Deep below, there is a warm heart, waiting accept all with open arms and a deep sense of pain for all our Puros, who were left behind and snatched away from our forefathers in Pakistan.

I salute the Punju attitude and would love to be reborn as a Proud Punjabi!!!!!!!

There's no love greater than the love for food....

Lunching away to glory at Cafe Britannia at Bombay's old quarter of Ballard Estate, that day in August 2006 was when I discovered their signature paper napkins had a rooster on it with a quotation saying "There's no love greater than the love for food".

George Bernard Shaw could not have been more correct than this... Is there anything better than great food? I do not think so.

Yet, for every ten people you meet on the street, food is just a normal chore, like having a bath, going to work or answering Nature's call (!!!). These hapless poor souls revel in their mediocrity.

There is nothing more pathetic than the routine of having the same food, day after day, week after week, year after year till the end of one's life. Life is to be enjoyed, food being an important element of it -- do we eat to live or do we live to eat?

I would agree with the latter.

I remember, as a kid, my Mom used to cook chicken and mutton, almost every Sunday. My entry into the kitchen was forbidden as my folks were apprehensive that the sight of blood and gore of uncooked flesh would put me off. However, I used to be fascinated by the smells that used to waft out of the kitchen. And then on the dinner table, I used to be scramble for my best piece, the chicken leg.

But with times, things have taken an exotic turn, much to the "shock" of my parents, sister and now my spouse, Neeti...

As I live to eat, I do tend to veer on the extremes in my quest for epicurean delights that take me into a state of trance ... crocodile fritters, braised rabbit, to name a few. The more sinful the better - could there be anything better than a greasy English breakfast of eggs, fried bacon, sausages, ham, potatoes and baked beans on a lazy Sunday morning? Driven by my excesses, Neeti has now coined an acronym for our weekly grocery list -- HSBC - Ham, Sausages, Bacon and Chicken!!!!!!! (I hope guys from HSBC Bank don't read this and sue us for the copyright!!!)

And who can forget the orgasmic pleasures of creepy crawly creatures -- cracking the crab shells, and struggling to gorge on the sweet white crab meats!!! And squids, octopus, mollusks, the list is endless. And what smells better than freshly caught fish? The very sight of this stuff makes my mouth water...

Despite my conviction that anything that walks, creeps or crawls is edible (except humans of course!!), I revel in equal measure or rather am quite demanding for the vegetarian stuff as well. Imagine how a fiery "tadka" can transform the plain looking daal, or how garlic can sizzle up any meal, or how aroma of simmering "maa ki daal" can cause the salivary glands to burst!!!!!

I have always believed that travel gives one an opportunity to explore the local food. Once I travelled to Kerala for a conference, with my colleagues from a previous organisation in Delhi. All along the journey, I was fantasising about famous stews and appams and other Keralite stuff. I was so pissed off when I discovered that the buffet that was laid out had tandoori chicken, paneer tikka, daal makhani, etc. And closer to Bombay, Gujaratis are no different. McDonalds should think of a new innovation -- McThepla for a global launch, which I am sure will be quite profitable!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA

The ultimate foodie I revere is Anthony Bourdain -- this guy is simply amazing. He has no qualms about trying anything, without battling an eyelid. Anything means "anything" here -- from a live beating cobra heart in Vietnam to seal poop in Alaska.

I can only aspire to be like him!!!

P.S. I can never forget the "Oh no, not again" look on Neeti's face when she saw the Cafe Britannia paper napkin